Arrested!

Some stupid ass mofo got arrested today at work. She called in a script for 120 norco 10's using a dentist's office information! WTF! Dentist's do not write for that many Hydrocodone at one time, so we had the cops on stand by and when she came in I stalled her while updating the information until the showed up and took her drug abusing ass to jail! It was very exciting, I love sending people who abuse meds to jail. Then some crazy ass dude with a longhorns tat on his neck came in and tried to fill some hydrocodone (pattern?) with us from the ER, the script was legit but when we looked at his profile he had gotten over sixty in 4 days, he wasn't even using multiple pharmacies (dumbass). We canceled the script and he came back in trying to get all riled up so we called the cops on his ass too. Is there a full moon tonight or what? People be acting crazy up in here! Anyways tomorrow is my bachelor party so that should be fun! Play some video games, eat a burger and see some boobs. Very risque! I LOVE BEER! Peace!

Wedding!

Alright all you loyal followers, I am getting married to the bestest chick in the entire world! We are def two peas in a pod and the word soul mate totally applies! Anyways, today was pretty lame at work and then I came home to some grumpiness, after my last physical therapy session, but then we went shopping (hurray) and bought some dank ass shoes. Black Sperrys sounds good but with a suit they look horrible. Got a pretty sweet checker (picnic cloth) shirt from American Eagle though, and got alot of kickbucks! Speaking of you should download the shopkick app and join using friend code bilberry4192. The iPhone is amazing, never bored with an iPhone. Isn't it crazy how much technology has changed? I mean I am only 23 and my first cell phone was a Nokia brick with Snake and I thought that was awesome. My mom had a briefcase phone, crazy how we've gone from that to iPhones. Makes you wonder what they'll think of next. Which brings me to my next point, when are they gonna start microchipping kids like they do animals? I am thinking pretty soon, it's kinda creepy but kinda cool too. Like if someone steals some shit or murders someone, just pull out your iPhone 12 and googlemap them. I guess eventually they would start pulling them out and them you have to put it in the bone or something. You know what, I think that should be mandatory for major criminal offenders, and go straight to the bone implant, it's gotta be pretty cheap and they could prevent other crimes from happening because they can easily track them. I am sure there will be criminal technology to compete but it would work for awhile, and then you could change it to micromachines that circulate the bloodstream, then the only way to 100% get rid of them would be dialysis and back alley dialysis would kill alot of stupid criminals, so you have two pluses. Next blog will be about cats! (And other things)

I feel Gasey

So I have been told by my biggest fan that I cuss too much and all I do is complain in these blogs, so tonight I have decided to change it up! I'm just gonna share my thoughts and hope you enjoy them. Though I will say this, I very much dislike writing papers for classes. Anyways, let's get away from that negative slope (not on a graph) and head into everyone's fav topic.... MOVIES! I don;t know why I'm talking about moves but it seemed appropriate at the time when my fingers were dancing across the keyboard. Zombieland is a fecking awesome movie!! I totally wish that zombies of that nature would take over. Slow, dimwitted and fun to kill! I would have to say I'd be a combo between Columbus and Tallahasse, cause although I would def break into a gun shop and unload on some zombie freaks I would also be a bit neurotic and I have IBS. Anyways, here's my plan of action for when the zombie apocalypse start. The first thing I will do is stay away from heavily populated areas for the first day or so of zombie feasting, this step is crucial because even slow zombies are deadly zombies in large numbers. After the first couple of days I would then head towards the nearest gun store, break in (sorry law abiding citizens, it most be done for survival), and steal as many guns and ammo as the place has and I can get in my car in less than 20 minutes. My girlfriend would of course help so we could get double the ass kicking equipment than if we were working alone. Next, I would head to a supermarket in a smaller town. Do not go to one in a high population city because chances are you could be swarmed and then it's game over. I would then stock up on as many non perishable items as my and my girlfriends cart could hold. All the while being quiet and constantly vigilant for any sign of danger. If we encountered a flesh loving fiend I would shoot with my ever present firearm and then grab what I had and get the hell outta dodge, cause when you shoot one, more are bound to arrive. If all goes well though we would take the shopping carts and all and place them in the vehicle and head back to the safe house. This is where having multiple vehicles come into play, all can be stolen of course since there are no laws in zombieland. I recommend at least a truck for shopping and a fast but durable 4-wheel drive vehicle. Well that's all for tonight, I will continue this blog later, with more tips and tricks for surviving your very own zombie apocalypse. Happy hunting zombie slayers. Oh and make sure to aim for the torso if they are zombieland or 28 days later zombies, but you have to hit the head or spinal cord for Resident Evil zombies, so practice, practice, practice.

Driving

Aight. So let's re-evaluate our driving criterion. Seriously, I'm not the best driver but I'm also not wearing mittens and a helmet while driving either. I don;t know if these people just forgot how to drive or have their heads so far up their asses that all they can see is shit. For instance my friend parked his car at my apartment and someone rear-ended him, in broad daylight and left without leaving a note. This is probably one of the most shitty and bastardly things you could ever do. WTF! Not only does he have to pay the $250 deductible but that person is gonna get away with it. Now if they had just not had their ass hats on they would have backed out slowly and no one would have gotten fucked over. Also, I hate people that drive under the speed limit. Fucking shit! I totally understand people not wanting to speed, but don't slow everyone else down by driving ten miles per hour below the limit. I wish I could put a rubber bumper on my car and just give them a tap, tap, tapa roo. How sweet would that be? Or rocket launchers, those are my two major dreams for my car upgrades. Anyways, about the driving too slow thing, don't drive slow in the left hand lane on the highway, especially when there's a car going slow in the right. I call that the dumbshit roadblock. Well that's about all I have to say on this subject, there are many other things that peeve me on the road but this will do I believe. Work sucks!!!!!

The Start

I've never done this before and I feel a little gay for doing it but whatever. First off, I work in a pharmacy and have to deal with some stupid people. It's fairly annoying but when I look back on it it's usually good for some laughs. For instance, a girl at a pharmacy where my friend works called complaining that her Nuvaring, birth control, was too tight. They were confused and told her to come in to the pharmacy. She was wearing it on her wrist!! WTF! I'm glad that chick is trying to prevent herself from reproducing. There should def be a test to determine if you can have kids or not, I'm tired of my tax money going to support these stupid people that have ten kids and can't even afford to pay for their own shit. WTF. I guess Darwin is rolling over in his grave with the way our gene pool is now a stagnant puddle. If only we'd let natural selection start up again we might be able to fix some of the shit wrong with this world, but, alas, it's probably not gonna happen do to all those humanitarians. Oh some more good shit from the pharmacy. I love when the meth heads come in to buy sudafed. If you don't know, pseudophedrine is one of the main ingredients in meth and you have to buy it behind the counter. So these people tweeked out on meth come in all the time to buy the sudafed. And it's like they're their own race or something, they're always grungy and covered in dirt because they're too tweeked out to shower, and they have the same routine everytime. They walk up and sniff and ask for "Sum o dat "D" stuff" and the whole time you ring them up they're sniffing and playing off like they have a stuffy nose. WTF! You're in Denton buying Sudafed when your license is from some ass backwards place in Oklahoma, I know you didn't drive down here because the other pharmacies are out, just stop pretending and wasting my time! Anyways, I think this is enough for one time, gotta check on my Zooworld, oh yeah! Oh and "Women be shoppin'!"